Work

My work has appeared in outlets including NewYorker.com, The Sunday Times Magazine (UK), McSweeney’s, Bloomberg, Outside, NatuRx magazine, Men’s Health, Runner’s World, Time, and Lonely Planet. (Also, hopping into the WABAC machine, Cosmopolitan, TV Guide, Stuff, Bicycling, Mental Floss, and probably others I can’t remember.)

The kind of work I’ve done is broad, too, from photo captions to feature-length articles and tons of stuff in between, including celebrity Q&A, explanatory/how-to/service articles, reviews, advertorials, satire and humor, comics, and even (for six years!) an advice column. For several years I wrote and edited a weekly newsletter with an average open rate between 40 and 60 percent.

Here are a few links.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

"Glengarry Glen Ross: Working From Home Edition"
Unmute your microphone, Shelley. Read more...

Daily Shouts, NewYorker.com

“Ways the Woke Mob Has Affected Me Personally”
I sent out dozens of résumés that made no mention of my pronoun preferences. I didn’t get a single interview. Read more…

"Ask the COVID-Vaccine Ethicist"
None of us wants to shove a terrified parent into an unmarked vehicle. But sometimes love leaves us no choice. Read more...

"Alternatives to the Electoral College"
A few suggestions, including a tug-of-war, a lottery, and a popular vote. Read more...

"Back-to-School Supply List"
Your child will need one Large Elmer’s glue stick (not an Elmer’s glue stick, size large; “Large Elmer’s” is the brand name, and it can be hard to find). Read more...

"Merry Christmas": F.A.Q.
Answers to queries prompted by the passage of the Compulsory Acknowledgment of Christ Act. Read more...

Variations of the Trolley Problem
It’s a decades-old thought experiment, now with several new versions! Read more...

Fox News 9-1-1
If this is not an emergency, please hang up and stop being such a snowflake. Read more...

Alexander and the V Bad, FML Day
There was quinoa for dinner and I hate quinoa. Read more...

The Sunday Times Magazine (UK)

6 of the best fitness trackers — from smart watches to rings
(Featuring my “Was It Fun?” DumbRunner.com comic.) Read more…

Outside

Put Your Dog on a Leash
When a trail says "Dogs on Leash," it's time we respect that—and speak up to people who don't. Read more…

Stop Tossing Your Banana Peel on the Trail
That banana peel you just threw? It'll still be around in a year. Read more…

Remy's World Column, Runner's World

Yes, Running Is a Trivial Pursuit, But Not in the Way You Think
I’ve learned so many fun, quirky, useless facts from training partners through the years. Read more...

Running Through Injuries: Tough or Stupid?
For runners taught to embrace pain, the line often blurs. Read more...

When Is It Okay to Give Running Advice?
Know when to offer an opinion—and when to keep it to yourself. Read more...

The Benefits of “Running” Errands
Doing them on foot is surprisingly satisfying—if you plan accordingly. Read more...

Drill, Baby, Drill!
Speedwork, like dental work, is necessary—and not even all that evil. Read more...

Midday Runs With My Wife
They’re short and slow—and some of the best “quality” mileage I’ve ever logged. Read more...

The Dreaded J-Word
Why do people still use that word—you know, the one that rhymes with “yogging”? Read more...

All the World’s a Race
Well, it seemed that way to one participant at a made-for-TV marathon. Read more...

Hey, Sugar!
My name is Mark, and sometimes I consume things that are “bad” for me. It’s okay if you do, too. Read more...

Hills. Fartleks. Beer.
Is it possible to be one's own marathon coach? Well, why not? Read more...

Off the Clock
My running watch weighs two ounces. So how did it come to feel so heavy? Read more...

Feature-Length Articles, Runner's World

Did Running Save My Life?
When I was 25, I ran away from a small town in Ohio. At age 46, I ran back to see how it—and I—had changed. Read more...

Twenty Years, Twenty Lessons
Just starting out on your own running adventure? Here’s a little wisdom from someone who’s been there. Read more...

Standing Ovation
They scream, they cheer, they keep us going. And in Boston, they bore the brunt of the harm. Let's hear it for spectators. Read more...

Dumb Runner

In 2015, I launched DumbRunner.com, "an online destination for runners who enjoy laughter and pie." It’s ad free and 100% reader supported. I publish original content several times a week, including articles; shareable “Quick Tips” graphics and motivational posters; and comics.

Check it out. You might like it.